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Parent Story: Clarify, Listen, and Don’t Settle

After weeks of searching, interviews, and second-guessing myself, I finally found her, the caregiver who just clicked. From our first conversation, I could tell she truly saw children for who they are: capable, curious, and deserving of respect. 

She came to the trial day with patience, a playful spirit, and an ease that immediately settled the chaos of our household. She asked thoughtful questions about our routines, values, and parenting style, and she shared her own philosophy in a way that felt aligned and supportive.

The kids adored her. I felt relief and trust, which, honestly, I hadn’t felt in a long time. It took effort to get there clarifying our needs, listening to intuition, and not settling, but in the end, it was so worth it. We didn’t just find help, we found someone who felt like family.

Sawyer was seven, and he was having a day. It started with a broken shoelace, spiraled into a fight over the last waffle, and ended with her sobbing on the floor because her

block tower had fallen, again.

My instinct was to fix it. Rebuild the tower. Explain why his brother didn't mean it. But something stopped me. I'd recently learned that when kids are upset, they don't always need a solution,  sometimes they need help, a hug, or simply someone to listen. And we can't always know which one just by looking. We have to ask.

"That looks so frustrating. Do you want help fixing it, a hug, or do you just want me to listen?"

Sawyer blinked at me like I'd spoken a different language. I don't think anyone had ever given him the choice before. He thought for a second, then said quietly, "Just... listen. I don't want

you to fix it. I just want to be mad for a minute."

So I did. No advice, no rushing. Just a minute of being mad, together. And when it passed, he felt better, not because the tower was fixed, but because he hadn't been alone in how he felt about it.

Now, when the day falls apart, I still feel the pull to fix things fast. But more often, I pause, kneel down, and ask. 

And more often than not, that question is the thing that actually helps.